Is it intuition or just anxiety?

If I had to name one of the biggest aha moments from studying psychotherapy that then translated and helped me in my life in so many ways, it would be this:

Learning to tell the difference between intuition and anxiety.

What I love about this—so many things in therapy are vague, nuanced, "it depends." But this? Once you understand it, it's surprisingly straightforward. Which my logical mind absolutely loved (and I'm sure so many of you will appreciate this too).

They Feel Similar, But They're Not the Same

Anxiety and intuition can feel really similar at first.

Both show up in your body. Both feel urgent. Both seem to be giving you important information about a decision or situation. But they're coming from completely different places. And they're trying to tell you completely different things.

Anxiety is your nervous system in threat mode. It's trying to keep you safe by scanning for every possible danger. It's loud, insistent, convinced something bad is about to happen.

Intuition is your nervous system at baseline. It's calm, clear information from a regulated place. It's quiet, steady, just... knowing.

The problem is, most of us have been living in constant overdrive for so long that we've forgotten what intuition actually feels like.

So How Do You Tell Them Apart?

Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

Anxiety asks questions. Intuition makes statements.

Anxiety sounds like: What if this goes wrong? What if I'm making a mistake? What if they think I'm...? What if I regret this?

It's spinning. Trying to think its way to certainty by running through every possible scenario. Which we all know doesn't really work. We can't think our way out of stress and overdrive.

Intuition sounds like: This isn't right. I need to leave. This person is safe. I want this. No.

It's clear. Direct. Not trying to convince you of anything. Just information.

Anxiety lives in your head. Intuition lives in your body.

Anxiety shows up as racing thoughts, mental loops, trying to figure everything out. It's in your chest as tightness, in your breath as shallow and fast, in your shoulders as tension.

Intuition shows up as a felt sense. A knowing that sits deeper than thought. It might be expansion in your chest, a settling in your belly, a softening somewhere. Or the opposite—a contraction, a clear "no" that your body registers before your mind catches up. It's not urgent. It's just there.

Anxiety needs certainty. Intuition is okay with the unknown.

This one's HUGE.

Anxiety wants to know exactly what's going to happen. It wants guarantees. It wants to control every outcome so nothing bad can happen. That's why it keeps spinning—there are no guarantees, so it just keeps searching for them.

Intuition doesn't need certainty. It can hold "I don't know what will happen, and this still feels right" or "I can't explain why, but this is a no."

It's comfortable with ambiguity because it's not trying to protect you from an imagined future threat. It's just responding to what is.

Anxiety gets louder when you slow down. Intuition gets clearer.

If you pause, take a breath, try to regulate and the voice gets more urgent, more insistent? That's anxiety.

If you pause, breathe, come back to your body—and the knowing becomes clearer, steadier, more obvious? That's intuition.

Anxiety hates space. It fills silence with what-ifs and worst-case scenarios. Intuition needs space. It emerges when you're regulated enough to actually hear it.

Anxiety feels like drowning. Intuition feels like landing.

Even when intuition is giving you hard information like "this relationship isn't working" or "I need to leave this job" there's a quality of groundedness to it. It might not feel good. The decision might be scary. But there's a settling that happens when you acknowledge what you actually know.

Anxiety never settles. It just finds the next thing to worry about.

Why We've Been Listening to the Wrong Voice

And this is where it gets really important:

Most of us have been taught to ignore intuition and listen to anxiety.

We've been taught that the loud, insistent voice is the one to pay attention to. That if we're worried about something, we should keep thinking about it until we figure it out.

But the loud voice isn't trying to give you wisdom. It's trying to keep you safe from threats that mostly don't exist. The quiet, steady knowing? That's the one we've been ignoring. That's the one we've learned to talk ourselves out of.

And that's why so many of us feel disconnected from ourselves. We've spent years overriding our actual knowing with anxious thinking.

How to Start Accessing Intuition Again

You regulate first.

I know that sounds almost too simple, but it's the whole thing. You can't access intuition from a dysregulated state. When your nervous system is in threat mode, all you're going to hear is anxiety.

But when you come back to baseline—when you regulate, when you ground, when you bring yourself back to presence—intuition becomes available again.

That's why regulation matters so much. Not because breathing exercises are magic. But because regulation creates the conditions for you to actually hear yourself.

Practically, this looks like:

When you're making a decision or feeling unclear about something, pause. Notice what's happening in your body.

Are you tight? Tense? Is your breath shallow? Are your thoughts racing?

If yes—regulate first. Breathe. Move. Do whatever helps you come back to baseline. Don't try to make the decision from this place.

Once you're more regulated, ask the question again. Not in your head. In your body. Does this feel like a full body yes?

And then notice. Not what you think. What you feel.

Does your body expand or contract? Does your breath deepen or get shallow? Does something settle or tighten?

That's your intuition. That's the information.

Learning to Trust Yourself Again

I wish someone had taught me this years ago. I spent so much time thinking my anxiety was trying to protect me with important information. Thinking I needed to listen to every worst-case scenario my brain could generate.

When really, my anxiety was just anxious. It wasn't wisdom. It was dysregulation.

And my intuition? It was there the whole time. Quiet. Clear. Waiting for me to regulate enough to actually hear it.

This is a huge part of what we work on in therapy. Learning to recognize the difference. Learning to regulate enough to access your own knowing. Learning to trust yourself again.

Because so many of us are completely disconnected from our intuition. We've been overriding it for so long that we don't even know it's there anymore.

And it's one of the most powerful shifts—when we start to recognize "oh, that's anxiety" versus "oh, that's actually what I know."

Everything gets clearer from there.

Something to Practice This Week

When you're feeling unclear or stuck on a decision, ask yourself:

• Is this anxiety or intuition?

• Is it asking questions or making statements?

• Is it in my head or in my body?

• Does it need certainty or is it okay with the unknown?

• Does it get louder or clearer when I slow down?

You might be surprised what you already know once you learn to hear it.

If you're realizing you'd like support in learning to recognize and trust your intuition again—in reconnecting with what you actually know underneath all the anxiety my 1:1 therapy waitlist for 2026 is open. I'd love to hear from you to chat about what working together could look like.

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