The Money Talk We’re All Avoiding (But Need to Have)

I was sitting on the beach a few weeks ago with friends when one of them started talking about this book he’d been reading. Something about HAPPY MONEY and how our relationship with money affects our wellbeing. And I couldn’t stop thinking about what he shared.

Not because it was some revolutionary financial strategy, but because it hit on something we never really talk about: money as this living, breathing part of our emotional experience that we’re all just… avoiding.

We wake up thinking about it. Can I afford that coffee? Dinner out? The gym membership I haven’t used in months? We work for it, stress about it, make decisions around it, sometimes go to bed worrying about it. For something so present in our lives, we’ve become remarkably good at not actually talking about it.

But what if that’s exactly what’s keeping us stuck?

Your Five-Year-Old Money Story

Think back to your earliest money memories for a second. Maybe it was your parents arguing about bills behind closed doors, voices tight with stress. Or watching a parent’s face change when you asked for something at the store—that flash of worry or guilt. The unspoken rules: We don’t talk about money, Money doesn’t grow on trees, Rich people are greedy.

Your nervous system was recording all of this, creating beliefs that still show up in your body today. Money equals conflict. Wanting things makes you bad. There’s never enough. You have to exhaust yourself to be worthy of it.

These aren’t just thoughts—they live in your chest as tightness when rent’s due, in your breathing when someone asks about your salary, in the way your whole body reacts to money conversations.

Surviving vs Living

Most of us learned to survive money rather than actually live with it. We developed strategies—obsessive saving, impulsive spending, avoiding bank statements altogether. These worked when we were kids navigating chaos, but they might be keeping us small now.

Surviving money feels like constant vigilance and worry. Shame around what you earn or spend. Working from fear rather than purpose. Money decisions that leave you feeling drained. Avoiding the topic even with yourself.

Living with money? That feels different. Making choices that actually match your values instead of inherited fears. Work that energizes you. Spending that brings real joy or supports what matters. Conversations about money that don’t feel loaded. A sense of enough-ness instead of constant scarcity.

What Your Body Already Knows

Your body holds the truth about what actually nourishes you. This same wisdom can guide your money decisions toward choices that create real fulfillment instead of just temporary relief from financial anxiety.

Your body knows the difference between work that feeds your soul and work that slowly kills it. Between purchases that align with your values and those that fill emotional holes. Between financial choices made from love versus fear.

Next time you’re facing a money decision, try asking your body: How does this feel in my chest? Expansion or tightness? What would my five-year-old self think about this? If I imagine myself a year from now, how does this choice feel?

Changing the Conversation

What if we started talking about money like we talk about other important things—with honesty, curiosity, compassion? Not comparing salaries or debating strategies, but getting real about how money makes us feel, what stories we inherited, what we actually want our relationship with it to look like.

The wealthiest moments of our lives often have nothing to do with how much money we have. They’re about how present and connected we feel. Maybe happy money isn’t about what we earn or spend—maybe it’s about creating a relationship with money that lets us show up more fully to everything else.

I know this stuff runs deep. These patterns don’t change overnight. But they can change—I see it happen all the time. Sometimes we need support to untangle the old stories and write new ones.

If this brought something up for you (and how could it not?), you’re not alone. I would love to hear from you if you want to explore this further.